Tag Archive for: self-care

The World is a Surprising Mirror of Ourselves

I was having lunch in Central London last week and when I looked around everyone seemed to be a zombie.

Not a literal one, from the movies, but like robots. They would come into the restaurant, most times by themselves, with headphones on, get their food from self-serve, pay with contactless, sit down, and start watching something on their phones, while eating. When they were done, they would clear their place, and leave. No human interaction the whole time. And this was the case for the majority of them.

I felt sad.

Mirroring Back

Since everything is a mirror of ourselves, I first asked myself: where in my life, do I feel like a robot?

That’s certainly the case when I am super busy and I don’t prioritize self care. This past month, I was away for 2 of the 4 weeks, traveling, learning, facilitating and so all the work got crammed mostly in those two weeks in between, and I lost sight of my self care.

The point is, we’re not always going to be perfect. Or not even good. But the gold is in our ability to notice our thoughts, feelings, the sensations in our body. The way we perceive and interpret the world around us is influenced by our internal state. The external world is a feedback mechanism. If we find ourselves judging others or being triggered by the same thing on the news/situations/people, it may be an opportunity to examine our own expectations, biases, or unresolved issues.

For me, seeing all these people like robots, reminded me of my corporate days, when I was a robot. Those days are behind me, but aspects of that life – the constant focus on the work and little time for personal care and development – can still show up at times, because it’s familiar behavior.

Practical Application

When that happens, it’s an opportunity for awareness and observation: What is the external world telling me about my current state and needs? What about my boundaries?

The practical application lies in examining them, then revisit our values and intentions, and consciously aligning them with our actions, recognizing the reciprocal relationship between our inner self and the reality we shape. Ultimately, the world as a mirror invites us to actively participate in the co-creation of our experiences by cultivating self-awareness and making intentional choices in our daily lives.

So if you feel like it, take a moment to pause, reflect, and ask yourself: What do the events in my life reveal about my beliefs and aspirations? How can I actively shape the reflection I wish to see in the world around me?

With each conscious choice, you contribute to your external reality and to a life that resonates with your authenticity. The world is your mirror—what reflections will you intentionally create today?

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It’s never too late…

I’ve been kind of quiet lately. There’s a lot going on professionally, and I notice that when that happens, I’m even more intentional about and protective of my “me time”. 

Contrary to popular belief, when things are crazy, it’s even more important to make time to resource ourselves. When things are busy, the first thing that usually goes out the window is our self care. Simply because “we don’t have time.” Isn’t that what we say?  “Go, go, go” is a symptom of the modern world. It’s not a badge of honor, it’s actually a sure path to disconnect even more from your self. So what the heck do we do? 

When the house is burning, you’re not sitting there wondering how it started or if your clothes that you were going to wear tomorrow are okay. You take care of yourself by getting out of there. When you’re thirsty, you don’t say to yourself “meh, maybe I’ll have some water tomorrow.” 

The truth is that if we keep waiting “until…” we will never get to have time for ourselves. There’s always something or someone vying for your attention and time. 

Over the years I learned that not everything has to happen right now. And not everyone’s emergency has to be my emergency (it rarely is a true emergency anyway.) Your time is a currency. Choose to invest it wisely. 

One of my recent investments is time to re-learn to play the guitar. I used to play when I was younger, but I’ve taken a break from it. A long one…about 35 years! Recently, the Universe has been sending me messages about playing more, so here I am! Picking it up again in my 40’s! 

I’m not good at it, by any stretch, but I’m enjoying it a lot and I’m having fun! Sometimes it’s 15 minutes a day and it’s my time to use my brain in a different way and to engage with the sound of the music.

So that’s one thing I’ve been up to. Professionally, besides my private sessions, you can check out the Q&A coming up on Aug 27th about our life-changing psychosomatic program: Compassionate Inquiry Circles and Trauma-Sensitive Yoga.

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What’s the greatest expression of myself that I can be today?

I was listening to an interview with Joe Dispenza and he mentioned this question in one of his answers. I loved it! Read it again and see how it feels in your body. Do your shoulders move forward as a sign of protection, or do you feel yourself standing up straight? Does it feel like a sigh of relief or more pressure?

For me, it feels like a release. Like a permission that I can give myself to release the pressure of all the “should’s” that my mind comes up with. 

In tough moments like the recent events in the U.S., we might feel like we don’t know what to do; and maybe we feel like we “should” be doing something. 

While action is certainly needed, not knowing what the “right” action and what the effect is long term can be daunting. So, the invitation is to go back to this question and ask yourself (and myself included): 

“What is the greatest expression of myself that I can be today?

Then we can look at putting one foot in front of the other, and start there. Step by step, and eventually the whole road will appear ahead of us. 

But for now, let’s go with the highest expression and with today. That means that we are doing our best and there is no need for “should’s”, pressure, attachment, or judgment. And tomorrow is another day.

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Do you think it can get better?

Do you believe that it can get better? 

This was one of the best questions I’ve heard in my life! It stomped me by how simple and yet revealing it is. In my 40+ years, I’ve seen plenty of health practitioners and no one, NOT ONE, asked me this question. And here I was, talking to my acupuncturist and she asked me: do you think it [i.e. my health] can get better? 😳 I paused and thought “Holy crap!” 

How we think about life is what we get out of life. No, none of us asked for difficult things to happen, and yet, how do we look at them? Is it something that happened to us or something that defines us? 

Think about it. Have you ever talked to someone who’s always overworked, over scheduled, who’s always responding to things because “it’s always something” as if they can’t do anything about it? Why do you think that is? Let me share a short story with you.

Some time ago, I was talking to a potential client and they knew more than I could possibly ever know about their condition. They’ve done their research, they’ve been living with it since childhood so they had all the information they needed. Even more than they needed. They came to me for help, and yet every suggestion I made was met with a variation of “that’s never going to work for me”. And you know what? They were right and I told them that. It was never going to work because they didn’t believe that it could get better. And that’s fine. At that time they were not ready for it to get better or they did not need it to get better. What they needed was someone to listen, to empathize. So I did just that, because that’s what they needed.

The point of the story is that when we are ready for things to change, they can change. The first step is in our conscious mind. Then the subconscious will make it happen. So what do you say? Do you believe that “it” can get better? Whatever your “it” is…

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If you were thirsty now, would you wait several days to drink water?


Make Resourcing Yourself a Daily Priority.png

This has been coming up a lot recently in my sessions. Across the board, whether my clients are dealing with burnout, auto-immune issues, sleep disturbance, or anger, we are discovering together in our sessions that even though it is needed “now“, daily resourcing is rarely on people’s radar. 

Someone was recently grieving the loss of their dreams about renewed family connections so I asked:

Me: What would you need right now?

Client: Comfort and nurture.

Me: And what would bring that sense of comfort and nurture to you?

Client: Spending some time at the beach with my partner and kids.

Me: Can you do that?

Client: Yes, we talked about doing that next Friday.

Me: When do you need the comfort and sense of nurture?

Client: Today.

Me: So what is preventing you from going to the beach today?

Client: “…”

So now I am asking you. If you were thirsty now and I asked you to wait until next Friday to drink, you would think I am crazy, right? The difference is that we don’t think about resourcing as vital as food and water. The invitation is to reflect whether it is different though? 

If your answer is “no”, then think about little things that you can do each day to resource yourself. Something that brings you joy and takes 3-5 minutes. It can be longer if you have the time. There is a saying actually (and I am paraphrasing) about the need to be outside in nature for 30 min daily, unless you are too busy. In that case, you need 60 minutes! 🙂 When we don’t have time for something, what we are actually saying is that it is not a priority. So let’s make daily resourcing a priority!

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Self-Care Lessons I Learned from a Puppy

Puppy.png

Yes, we have a new family member…Meet Qi (or Chi), sometimes called Chewie for reasons you can probably suspect.

This little fur ball joined our family a few weeks ago and changed everything! That cute face can make anyone let their guard down and forget that you need to be the one setting the tone in the house.

They say that when the student is ready the teacher will appear. I can’t say that I was ready, but I definitely learned some lessons quickly.

Lesson 1: Prioritize sleep!
It’s been a while since we had a baby in the house so I forgot how important sleep is for us. We had to shift our schedule around and prioritize sleep for everyone, so that we can be resourced enough for the next day. Getting enough sleep is the different between a “bad day” where any interaction is a trigger, not to mention additional stress and calories (did you know that when you sleep less than what you need, you tend to eat 500 calories more a day? Also, sleeping 5 hours a night has the same effect on the brain as being drunk?) and a day when you feel resourced enough to handle life.

Lesson 2: Establish boundaries
Oh, how many times did you find yourself in a situation – whether attending an event you didn’t have the energy for or helping someone when you were depleted – because you had a hard time saying ‘no’? Well, having a puppy – yes, even a cute one like this one – definitely challenged my ability to establish boundaries. To a puppy, ‘no’ means nothing at first until you make it clear that it actually means what you said.

Lesson 3: Be short, clear, and firm
Part of establishing boundaries is being short, clear, and firm. But first, you need to know your limit, check in with yourself to understand what you need, and then saying it clearly and firmly, while keeping it short, with no need to over-explain. Keep the focus on yourself by stating what is true for you. Remember that event you did not want to attend? Next time, you can say “I appreciate the invitation and it sounds great, but right now I need some time for myself.” Short, clear, and firm.

Lesson 4: Practice, practice, practice
This is pretty self explanatory, but sometimes we can be tough on ourselves when we don’t do it “right”. The point is not to do it right, but to practice. Any skill takes time. At first it might feel awkward and then, it can feel empowering.

My learning continues…and so does my work. Next week, I’ll share some news! In the meantime, take care of yourselves and please reach out if you need support!

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