This time of the year we usually do a recap of what has happened this year, maybe our accomplishments or our dreams, etc. But this has been one heck of a year, hasn’t it?

We have all been affected by it, so in that regard, we are all in the same boat. Yes, perhaps you have heard that before. And yet, everyone has been affected differently, depending on our resources, financial, emotional, and physical. 

“We never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise;
And then, if we are true to plan,
Our statures touch the skies – “
Emily Dickinson

Even though these words were written in 1800’s, to me they never sounded more current and relevant than now. We’ve all been asked to dig deeper this year, so it’s possible to feel a bit depleted. A bit “over it“. However, if you are doing an inventory of 2020 and setting intentions for 2021, maybe consider this invitation to reflect on your “stature” this year.

We never choose to go through unpleasant experiences. If someone asked you if you wanted to grow spiritually or become stronger, or more resilient, you’d probably say, “yeah, that would be useful”. But then if you were told that you’d have to go through a situation that will test your patience, your limit, and deplete your resources in order to expand, maybe you’d say “no thanks!” 

Almost nine years ago I experienced one of the most difficult losses of my life and the circumstances made it even more difficult. I felt like I was spinning, losing control, and I remember the pain of my grief being so unbearable that one day I literally felt that I couldn’t breathe anymore. I was on the floor, in my home office, and was not able to move. At that moment, I thought that I was never going to be able to move again. 

What I didn’t realize at the time was that in that moment I was both dying and rebirthing. I had to fall to the ground, literally, in order to shed my shell and start growing. That experience wasn’t something I wished for and yet, now that I am on the other side of it, I am grateful for the lessons that it brought to me. I am not saying that I am grateful that it had to happen that way, I don’t think anyone wants to go through hardship, but I am grateful for my lessons, because without this experience and everything that I learned going through it, I would not be who I am today. 

I learned that I am stronger than I ever thought I could possibly be, and also that I am never alone, not even in that experience. Whatever experience you may be going through or have been going through, while it is unique to you, there’s always someone that can help or that can relate to it. So find that someone.

So now, as you are reflecting on this one-heck-of-a year, do you see how you’ve grown? How much stronger you are? How much more resilient you are? “We never know how high we are till we are called to rise;”

Thank you to everyone who has worked with me this past year, everyone who reads these notes from the heart, and I wish you all a healthy new year!