Finding Connection When Triggered Can Be Easier Now

Everything is connected

As we know, human connection is necessary. Whether we realize it or not, we all live in a web of interconnected energy. Maybe you are familiar with some of the experiments that show that, like the one with the bowls of rice or the plants who are spoken kind and mean words to, and their color and vitality change based on the type of words and energy they received. Also, you might know Masaru Emoto’s water experiments, one of which I’m linking to here, to see the effect of silent gratitude on water. 

So, what we do, what we say, what we think sends ripples into the world. Similarly, what others do, say, think has an impact on us and the world around us. And what we watch.

This week, I sat in a sharing circle with 40 other people. After a few shares, one participant spoke about their sadness around the way we treat Mother Earth. However, as they were speaking, their passion turned into a discourse that was perceived as aggressive and judgmental by several people in the circle. 

Undoubtedly, the speaker’s intention was to find connection through what they believed was a shared pain. While that was true for some, for others, the share activated deep seeds of shame from the past, which now came up to the surface as feelings of judgment and rejection. However, it doesn’t mean that the first group cared about the Earth, while the second didn’t. 

Connection leads to compassion and empathy

In absence of the hooks of shame, the first group was able to receive the share with compassion and empathy. At the same time, past trauma brought out defensiveness and mutual judgment in the second group. Some or most of us reading this can probably relate to the experience of the second group. 

For me, I perceived the intensity of the share as aggressiveness first, because that is one of my own sensitivities from my past. Then, I felt sadness and grief because I wished that the delivery would have been gentler. At the same time, when I connected with the pain behind their words, I started to see the their own sadness and the passion.

So you see, everything we say and do has energy and we are all connected. We create ripples by our actions and words. That’s why, there was no surprise for me, when the same day, I received in my inbox a note from the leader of an organization I collaborate with, with a meditation which is similar to Loving Kindness, shown to increase connection, personal well-being and compassion towards others. 

Just Like Me Meditation

When you are ready, bring someone to mind who might seem different or distant from you, or someone with whom you are in a minor conflict. As you hold this person in mind as if they were in front of you, repeat silently to yourself.

This person has a mind, a body, and a heart, just like me.

This person has thoughts, feelings, and emotions, just like me.

This person, at some point in his or her life, has been sad, disappointed, angry, ashamed, or lonely, just like me.

This person, in his or her life, has had difficult times and experienced emotional pain, just like me.

This person has experienced moments of peace, joy, and happiness, just like me.

This person wishes to have fulfilling relationships and know that he or she is loved, just like me.

This person wishes to be healthy and happy, and have a life of peace and ease, just like me.

Now take a moment to sense how you are feeling. As you hold this person in your awareness, send them good wishes: 

May they be well. May they be happy. May they have everything they need to navigate this life with abundant resources, support, and love.